I’ve been bursting at the seams to tell this current story God is writing, but I’ve struggled to find the words, to find the balance of sharing it, and quite frankly the time. Here I am: A stay-at-home mom, a wife to a pastor, and a newly part-time business owner.
I’ve had so many ask about my business, how it’s going, and why I chose to move out of the studio space. Most look at me funny when I tell them that I stay home with Harper, and only work very part-time now. I’ve worked so hard the last 5+ years to build the business, why stop the momentum?
This transition from fancy-artist-photographer to broom-holding-diaper-changer has been humbling to say the least! Today if I’m honest, I’m struggling a bit with finding my identity in photography. No specific reason, just the feeling of being a has-been. Unfortunately, I’ve secretly feared people forgetting about me and forgetting about my photography work. But I pause, and remember what’s really important. Keep your eye on the prize Heather, He’s called you to so much more.
September 30th was the last day that I had my beloved studio space…with the option of renewing the lease I knew that God was calling me away and in a different direction. A direction He’s been pointing me in for what seems to have been 5 years. I was building my business with a great plan while He knew that it’s course would be changed. I reflect fondly on how God has worked in my business. I went from no work to always being busy the first two months of officially launching. I even had the joy of teaching and speaking at a couple of workshops, a long time dream of mine and one that I hope to keep accomplishing. I’ve had the opportunity to travel to other countries to photograph weddings. What a blessing! Fast forward to now, and I know that this is not the season for me to seek more praise of my work, but to be homeward focused and to do it well.
I’ve made a billion mistakes in this last year, but I think I’ve finally learned the balance of home-life and business life. I’ve learned that this delicate balance is redefined each month as my family has different needs. I want to greet my husband in the evenings with a sweet kiss, and a happy hello. I don’t want to miss one minute of loving on Harper and teaching her through each milestone. I want to make the time to encourage, and spend quality time with my friends. I wasn’t always good at being intentional with my friendships while running my busy business. I’m thankful to have strong friendships that I now value, instead of expect. Being too busy makes it quite easy to become self-important, and excuse regularly serving others, you know? It sure is for me anyways…I’m thankful for gracious clients, a gracious husband, and a gracious God that allow me to stumble my way through!
So…all of this is what I’ve spent the last year learning…and yet still learning. I’m having to give the photography business back to Him over and over again. When things get overwhelming, I simply remember what I consider is success for me according to what He has called me to in this specific order…
Am I seeking the Lord?
Am I being a good wife?
Am I being a good mom?
Am I being a good friend?
Am I being a good business owner?
Do these things well, and do them to the glory of God.
Thank you to my friend Arden Prucha for the photo of me in the studio. How proud and thankful I am of the accomplishment of my own studio.
It was a wonderful 3 years in that space!
And thank you to my sweet friend Kim Jones for the lovely portraits of our family!!
em - DUDE, Can’t wait to catch up. 2012 is a massive year. God is working big time! I have some awesome news … Will finally has a new job and we are moving to Madison, WI! Gods hand is all over this and I can’t wait to share all the details with you!
Love, Em
Kristin Shyla - Girl! Thankful for your humility and God honoring desire to love God, your hubs and Harper for His namesake. He is better! I am encouraged by your obedience. He uses all things b/c of the cross and we can wrap up in Romans 8 in all the uncertainty that surrounds us. He knows what He is doing with you and you have a forever fan in me.. b/c you are an artist but first b/c you are a worshipper of God and your life is mirroring that!! Good hope today lovely!
Aunt Toni - Bless you, sweet girl ……
molly - I can totall relate! I just quit teaching school a year ago to go full time with my photography business and now a year later I have heard from God to “LIMIT” my sessions. So now, here I am….being a stay at home mommy to three boys, and homeschooling them, knowing that THIS is what God has called me to do. He allows me to photograph because that is my passion and He wants me happy…..but that is not my PURPOSE here. I know without a doubt my purpose is raising up my children according to His word so that HE can be glorified by their futures! It definitely IS a delicate balance between working and keeping the home/kids/hubby well fed and well nourished. God’s way is the right way….this WILL bring you peace!
Jodi - God Bless, sweetie!
Amanda B - I think there are probably so many other mom/photographers that are feeling the same way as us. Thank you for sharing your heart! It’s so hard to let go of our business “babies” to focus on our real ones but be encouraged! Now you can take lots and lots of pictures of your own sweet girl :0)
Richard MacLeod - Welcome to the world of real life perspective and reflection. Discovery of priority, God, Family, Work! You have found your passion. You love what you do and will never have to work another day in your life. Being a Wife, Mother, Photographer and Business Woman are your loves and passions. You’re free to create! The best to you and your family no matter the path you follow, God will be there to guide you!
Peace!
Ryan Ray - Love this so much Heather. Your perspective and motivation is wonderful!
Hannah Sons - Amazing blog post. Thank you for sharing. I struggle with this daily.
Jenn S. - Good for you, following your heart! It is at once exciting and challenging to redefine yourself. I went to law school and worked as a lawyer for 13 years before I decided to “retire” to stay home with my kids. Every person is different but, for me, I couldn’t let go of the fact that the time goes so quickly. Mothering is an awesome responsibility and great honor. I have known too many women who have been unable to have children or have had to give their child back to God. It can certainly frustrating to be home full time but it is also rewarding and, for me, the choice I know I won’t regret in the years to come.
I have used what free time I have to actively pursue my prior interest in photography — but with that has come some pressure to do that “part time.” What I KNOW from following other photogs like yourself is that there really is no such thing — it is so very time consuming to do it right. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Your talent will still be there when you know the time is right to use it. True talent is never irrelevant. The great thing about your gift is that you can use it however YOU want. There may be pressure to do it a certain way but you don’t want to be part of the pack anyway. Your talent and the way you choose to use it will set you apart. It is wonderful that you recognize that your family is a blessing that cannot be taken for granted. Give yourself the gift of following your heart without beating yourself up — or feeling like you won’t find a perfect middle ground!
Amanda - So amazing Heather! I too know that my pace won’t be this way forever, and as long as we have the trust and hope in Him to let him guide us, that gives him all the glory! You are always a true artist in my heart! Don’t forget you taught others along your journey too!
Kelly - I came over to your blog from Arden Prucha’s. I applaud your decision. This post is inspiring. Following what God is asking of us can be hard and it is so encouraging to see you doing that so boldly and sharing your thoughts and feelings on it. May He bless you mightily as you seek to follow Him. Kelly